lack of identity

I never felt so left behind as I'm feeling right now.
Sometimes I ask myself why wrong did i do to him? Never felt the need to tell someone to fuck off as I constantly did with him, never felt so humiliated.
Humans have the instinct of revenge , always running in your guts. When i was told , that after all i've been throught i had been fired, i realized that I still have hot thick blood in my veins. it was boiling.

Anger made me sick the next day. my throat was sore and my body ached. I wasn't alone this time, for once, i had someone to care about my pain.. the inner pain. it healed me, but my blood is boiling still.

I feel like screming my head off at him, I feel like punching his face, spitting in his eyes, yell that i hate him, like no one ever did.
But what does that miserable human being is going to do with all that information? absolutely nothing, because he only praises himself, and only cares about that.
I'm cooling .. trying to regain my pride, so long lost in that place. I'll only find peace, when I can raise my head high, and see some sun light.
No more in need of his help, never again, i'm done with him, and his selfish ego. i'm done with needing anyone else. I can relay on myself. I'm my best friend. my heart will mend.... someday.

Halleluiakid's Journals

lack of identity